This post is part of a blog series. To see all the posts in this series, click the link How to Really Know Someone.
I came across the How to Really Know Someone tag on the blog Richel Goes, who in turn got it from the blog Explore With Corinth, who in turn got it from the Tumblr innercartwheel; and because I am an utterly vainglorious narcissist who loves talking about herself, I decided to do the tag as well. You can find the full list here. It’s composed of 137 questions, which I’ve divided into ten per post for a total of fourteen posts.
1. How do you feel about birthdays?
I love other people’s birthdays, because I love organizing and attending parties. I also love to bake, so I often bake cakes, cookies, or cupcakes for my close friends and family (I recently made a winning – if I do say so myself – batch of red velvet cupcakes for my little brother’s 17th birthday). My own birthday? Not so much. I love the feeling of being surprised with gifts or flowers (it’s ridiculously easy to surprise me because I never expect anyone to remember my birthday), but I don’t like the thought of getting older.
2. Do you believe in fate?
A little bit of yes, a little bit of no. I think there are some things in this world that were just meant to happen – fixed points in time, to use Whovian terminology. I also believe that, if you really want something, and I mean really want it, with all your heart and the totality of your being, the universe will come together to give it to you. But keeping it, that thing you want? It’s entirely up to you. That, you gotta work for.
3. What do you think when a band/artist “sells out”?
I’ll be the first to say that the thought of my favorite indie OPM bands going mainstream makes me sad. Still, musicians are people too, and people gotta make money.
4. What do you think of fans and fandoms?
As a member of several fandoms (Harry Potter, Supernatural, Dr. Who, Sherlock, Marvel, Hamilton, Star Trek, Disney – to name a few) I’m gonna go ahead and say that I’m biased. I’ve made so many good friends thanks to the fandoms I’m in, friends I would’ve never met otherwise. That aside, I can acknowledge that not everything in the world of fandom is sunshine and daisies. There’s shipping wars, social justice issues, copyright issues; there have even been instances of fans totally going postal and stalking or harassing the celebrities from their favorite TV shows and movies. It’s a mixed bag, I guess, just like everything else in life.
5. Any specific personality traits you would like to see in your life partner?
Above all, I value three things in a life partner: the ability to communicate, a sense of humor, and kindness for one’s inferiors. Communication is the most essential thing in a relationship, a sense of humor can salvage just about any bad situation, and – like Sirius Black said – “if you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals”. Beyond these three things, I believe everything else is just a bonus.
I’m very lucky that my boyfriend has all three qualities in abundance!
6. Should parents be their child’s friends?
I don’t feel fully qualified to answer this because I’m not a parent, but from my perspective as a daughter, I can say that I think there should be a happy medium. A child should feel that they can talk to their parents about anything and everything. I firmly believe that the trick to avoiding things like drug addiction, teen pregnancy, and troublemaking in general is encouraging your kids to ask you questions, and giving them logical, rational, scientific answers when they do. In that sense, I suppose parents should be their child’s friends. At the same time though, a parent should not be so casual with their child that the child forgets that the relationship is not that of peers, and that the parent still holds authority over them.
7. What do you think of doctor-assisted suicide?
I support taking someone off life support if they request it, or if they have a Do Not Resuscitate order. In the quality versus quantity of life argument, I’m firmly on the side of quality.
8. Have you ever blown your top? Why?
Oh, plenty of times. I never show it though, because while I have a super short temper, I also don’t think that shouting and yelling really solves anything. I step outside for a bit, have a cigarette, make myself a cup of coffee, rant to a friend – or even store up my anger and take it out on a hapless punching bag later on at the gym. But at the moment that something happens to make me blow my top, I prevent my anger from reaching the surface and focus instead on correcting whatever it was that went wrong.
9. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
When I was a lot younger, people always assumed that I was a particularly baby-faced adult because I’m so tall (for a Filipino woman, anyway). I was the kind of teenager who snuck out and went to clubs (I had a fairly misspent youth, sigh) and not once did I ever get carded. Not when I was fifteen, not when I was sixteen, not when I was seventeen. Now that I’m twenty-three and my facial features and height are that of a woman in her early twenties, people rarely get my age wrong.
10. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
To be honest, even if the person being gossiped about wasn’t my friend, I’d call them out on it. If I know for a fact that the criticism is unjustified, and especially if it’s distasteful, I’ll speak up. One of the things I absolutely can’t stand is rudeness, and spreading offensive and untrue rumors is about as rude as you can get. One thing’s for sure, these people will definitely no longer have my respect and admiration.